If I Were Given a Chance to Flip or Flop as a Stand Up Comedian

With my luck, I’d probably succeed. You know….I make people laugh their asses off, hit the road and get strung out on crack.

Living in seedy hotels, trying to fuck the housekeeping staff. You know, one of these total losers trying to become the next Jim Carey, working bars and nightclubs and who knows where.

But here’s the deal, those guys – guys like Jim Carey – they aren’t mere mortals. They’re clinically insane; that’s what those guys are. And while I might be a tad witty, I’m not fucking crazy, so I’d never make it big. In this case, success = you’re totally fucked.

Let it go, man. You’re never going to be famous. Never! Let it go before you go off and do something stupid, ok?

Speaking of doing stupid things…